Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Sleepless Nights

I just spent the last week not sleeping. Not cause I'm out doing anything in particular, but because I'm sitting in my apartment contemplating life. Because I have five months left in Korea, which means that over half of my contract is finished, I am starting to think about what I'm going to do when I get back home. To me, when I return home I will be in the same state that I was in when I graduated univeristy: not really knowing. The thought of this really petrifies me. Literally.

I am working through a lot of ideas now, which is both good and bad. Good in that I'm thinking about it, bad because it's keeping me up at night. Actually it's not as bad this week as it was last week. I'm getting to bed a little earlier and spending more time than I thought numbing my mind with Rob's new XBOX. And, I must admit, I'm getting a lot better at Tony Hawk 2!

I'm also taking a course at my church called Cleansing Streams. Although the name of the course is pretty lame, it's actually pretty cool. There is a lot of homework involved in this course and I'm learning a lot about walking with God and hearing his voice. To actually hear God, to undisputedly hear his voice and recognize it would be incredible at this point. So that's what I'm working on. Letting go of my old way of depending on myself and gripping to the new way of depending entirely on God. Cliche? Maybe. But, for me, I'm actually trying to do it, rather than just talking about it all the time. We'll see how it goes.

As for work related Korea business. I'm working six days a week now, which is fine, cause I get a little extra money, but I don't get much of a weekend, which isn't the most fun. I get Sunday off, but I have church and then Cleansing Streams, so not much time left for relaxing. But I'm still encouraged, because I have less than five months left! I can't believe it. Although I'm not in a rush to leave and not so eagar to get home and really sort out my future "life" issues, I'm still excited to almost be completed a one year contract...something I never imagined committing to. If you know me, and know me well, you know that committment isn't always my "thing".

Otherwise things are pretty good here. Running smoothly and I'm doing well. I'm happy and still finding lots of time for prayer, thought, and Jesus.

Hope you're all doing well.


Blogger Shopper said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:55 PM  
Blogger Kiki said...

keep thinking, keep praying, i am too

6:05 PM  

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